5 Things to DO When You Want to Stop DOING
You know when you just want to stop? You can’t take it anymore. You’re frustrated. You’ll never get there. It’s pointless why you even started…
Sometimes you start one thing, full steam ahead and then, bam! You face some obstacle, or challenge, or you run out of resources, or no one else cares in the world except YOU.
Yeah, I’ve been there. Just today, I had this very conversation with myself. And then I wrote myself out of that fixed mindset of not-enough-ness and stuck-ness.
Here are 5 things to keep you going when you just… don’t want to:
1. Remember why you started.
You’re seriously thinking about quitting now?
Remember how excited you were when you took that first step? Remember your “why?”
Your “why” should raise a bright yellow smiley-face flag in your head all day long (or, maybe that’s what mine looks like…). But sometimes it’s night and it’s hard to see. I get that. Remember to raise your flag and why you’re flying it.
2. Find your motivation.
This could be related to #1, but maybe it’s not.
Some people are motivated for the sake of doing something. Or for someone to pat you on the back. Other people seek that reward at the end. Or maybe it’s when you’re stuck in this self-loathing ditch you’re in now, and you’re motivated to get out.
Look at your history- what made you do those things you loved, AND the things that felt hard and sucky? What kind of motivation did you feel? Remember that now.
3. Sit with it. Be stuck.
You’re yelling at me. And now you’re closing this blog. But wait…
What would it be like to be completely “with” yourself in your stuck-ness? What would you like to learn about yourself?
Personally, with the styles I work with, my core motivation style is called “the optimist.” This means that I can see the positives to most things and get excited easily, but I also want everything now. I like to keep my options open. I get bored easily and sometimes feel trapped.
Do you see how this feeling could be abundant in regard to my motivation style? So what did I want to learn? First, I want to practice sitting with myself. Stop being bored. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Feel the stuck-ness. Like a totally sane person, I talk to myself, “This sucks, but you really want this. You don’t have to be stuck forever. What are you going to do as your very next step?”
Be stuck. Know it won’t last forever. Then…
4. Get it out! Then get back to work.
Talking about crap that gets you fired up keeps you in the past.
BUT- one thing I do with clients, is I give them this clearing space. My goal during an hour-long session is to move him or her forward. But sometimes they need to get it all out before they can move that direction. I will tell them something like, “I understand this is weighing on you. I’ll give you 5 minutes to talk without judgement, then we can decide what we want to do about it.” It’s usually all they need.
For you, understand that talking negatively about something doesn’t actually help solve the problem. But you need to get it out. Grab a friend, a journal, or open field to say all you need, without feedback or judgement. Get it out! Then, make a plan to move forward.
5. Let yourself change your mind.
What you wanted then doesn’t have to be what you want now. And. That. Is. O.k. Seriously.
I hear you now, “But I did all that work, for what?” You did it because you wanted to try it. And you did. And you learned from it. And now you know you don’t want it anymore.
Failure is not changing your mind, or abandoning something you wanted at one time. Failure is not trying at all, especially when you want something. It’s giving up because it’s hard. Don't continue down that road of dullness to prove a point. To whom? For what?
Allow yourself to change, because you will anyway.